"Stop fighting guys, it's not worth it" she pleas.
"Shut up whore!" this lowlife cretin retorts as he musters up a phlegm-wad and launches it in her face.
at that point i was in the middle of the fight, mediating, somewhat... but as soon as the mucusy glob hit her face maniacal sirens went off in my head, i twitched slightly as i imagine geoffrey dahmer would right before he would devour his prey, and i fucking body checked this asshole and sent him tumbling backwards into the street... after that i can't quite remember what happened, bows and fists a' flailing... my friends got into it... kicking and punching this sad, sad person... and then CRACK! i get fucking jacked in the nose... by that point everyone has dispersed and there i stood, or staggered rather... an apocalyptic fountain of blood cascading down my face... careening across the street i caught up to my friends who had rushed to a nearby jimmy john's to get some napkins for my pathetic looking face... jesus, if my mother would have seen my face... oh god, i can see her now... in tears, sobbing... ahhh the love only an italian mother can give...
everyone escaped the fight unscathed... the same can't be said for our hippie-scum friend, but fuck him...
jesus, not only did i intervene in a fight i had nothing to do with, i end up doing the only noble thing by sticking up for this girl, and i get the bloody shit -end of the stick... fuck me... cause she didn't....
I DO NOT CONDONE FIGHTING... I AM DOCILE, CANADIAN... BUT I GOTS TA STAND UP FOR WHAT RIGHT!!! RIGHT? .....
however, if you do decide to have a street fight of sorts... i'd suggest having a friend pull up to the scene blaring The Cramps' Psychedelic Jungle...
Jordan "he who shits crystals" Walters
